Downsizing your (or your parents’) home
As people live longer and want to age in place, we’re starting to think of our homes differently. Is it one level? If not, will I be able to climb stairs as I age? Is it too big? And do I need all of this stuff? Downsizing a home can be overwhelming. And if you’re helping to downsize the house for one or both of your parents, it can be more challenging, and you most likely will be met with resistance.
I know because I tried downsizing my mother’s house, and I failed. This was years ago, before Marie Kondo’s books and her NetFlix special. I was visiting my mom and decided to help her get rid of stuff in the postage-stamp-sized kitchen (including processed food, but that was another battle). My plan was to go room by room, but it began and ended in the kitchen. My mom was an interior designer and owned a gift shop, so her home was beautiful. But I thought she didn’t need all the baskets on top of the kitchen cabinets. Therein lies the problem. What I “thought” didn’t matter to her. It was her attachment and her stuff, and me asking why she couldn’t get rid of something didn’t help. What was clutter to me were treasures to her. And honestly, I knew I would have to deal with them one day, so I wanted to see if I could “help” (maybe you’re dealing with the same thing). Not the best approach.
My mom and I would have gotten better results with less stress and tension between us had we hired a consultant. Someone who could guide us and ask thoughtful questions as we went through her things—things she had spent years collecting. Someone who wasn’t attached to any of the items. Someone who wouldn’t ask, “Mom, what are you doing with this?” or “Mom, why do you still have this?” or would wholesale donate items.
Two years after that, I had to pack up her household and sell her home when she was forced to move due to health issues. I was fortunate that she could help decide what furniture could be sold before moving. We both knew she wouldn’t live in another three-level house even if she recovered enough to live independently. Had we had someone helping us, we could have decided together what things she wanted to be surrounded by that brought her joy. In the process, I may have learned about her connection to them. As it happens in many families, when she left this world, her things were dispersed to family members in different states who will never know the stories behind them.
A Certified KonMari Consultant compassionately goes through five categories (instead of room by room) with the client to discover what items spark joy and what items can be released to be gifted or donated. This way, no one has to ask, “Mom, why on earth do you have this?”
Are you thinking of downsizing or helping someone downsize? Set up a complimentary consultation with me!